A Girl And Her First Kiss

A confession of one twelve year old girl and her awkward first kiss

It was hot, it had rained a few days before and it felt as if the earth was sweating through a really tough gym class, and I, a Texan, must have been within its armpit. The steam rose from the pavement and clung to my t-shirt in the most miserable way. I swatted the mosquitos, while trying to maintain all the sex appeal my prepubescent body possessed- which in retrospect was very very little. images-8

In an effort to be noticed by my sixth grade crush, I had strategically seated myself on a park bench. The only bench on the playground that he could see from his bedroom window. I had worn my brand new capri set my mom had got from Old Navy, and my sexiest shoes- wedges with a two inch platform. My braids were still fairly new and I had took care to gel my outgrown edges to my forehead in a swirling motion; on my face I wore the only makeup I was allowed, heavily applied smackers lipgloss. Needless to say, I looked amazing! images-12

I had brought out a book to add to the casual nature of the moment. I opened it to the middle and waited anxiously as the words waltzed about the page. I rehearsed my surprise, whenever he noticed me from the window, and I casually pretended not to know he stayed there. And after twenty minutes, he was the only detail missing from my carefully planned coincidence.

The heat was oppressive, and I worried that I had forgotten my deodorant. So, I stood, ready to abandon the mission, and reassess tomorrow—or after a shower. Then, like magic he was standing in front of me. His bushy eyebrows, heavy with sweat, shined and reflected the lights in his brown eyes. His full lips parted to reveal the most perfectly crooked smile I had ever seen. He spoke, something cheesy he had probably seen in a movie, and I stood silent. It was nothing he had said, it was just that I hadn’t developed many events past our not-so-by chance run-in.images-6

Suddenly, after unmemorable small talk, we decided that he was my boyfriend, and he invited me on a walk. He took my hand in to his and my stomach ached with nerves. We walked, he talked, and I tried to capture  every aspect of that grand moment. I studied the movement of the trees, the warmth of his hand, the smell of the air, the sweet melody of his screeching voice as he balanced his boyhood youth with his impending manhood. It was the greatest romance I had ever known.

He stopped speaking and looked at me intensely, forcing me to realize I hadn’t been listening to anything he had said. I laughed, my nervous reaction to all things awkward which would follow me for many years to come. He, did not laugh, his eyes grew intense, something else I assume he picked up in a cheesy movie, and the wind ceased to sway the trees. The birds grew quiet, and we became two figures standing outside of time. His lips pressed against mine, and I realized he was the first kiss that I had ever received that wasn’t from a relative. The world faded away, and I did what I had saw in a bad movie, press my lips and my flat chest into his. I tasted the strawberry of my lipgloss and wondered if I were doing it right.giphy

Later we got it all wrong, he dated all of my friends, and I threatened him with physical violence. Now, he is an insurance adjuster and a  father of three (or four) beautiful children, and I, I am myself..we follow each other on Facebook though. Never the less, on that day, in that moment, his lips pressed against mine, my lips touching his…nothing could be more right.


What happened to your first crush? How about your first kiss? Let me know below! Also don’t forget to follow me on Facebook at: https://www.facebook.com/BRIANCAJAYY/ … the surest way to never miss a post!

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