You know how you can hear a song, or smell a familiar scent, and then all of a sudden you’re traveling down the best of memory lane?
Well, for me its not a song, or a scent, but the dryer in the Graustark laundry and cleaners, that sends me into nostalgic bliss.
I opened the door, and just like that, I was 23. It’s 2013 and I am lugging my dirty intimates with one hand, and struggling to catch the door with the other. I fish out my quarters, set my washers, and spend the rest of my afternoon drinking bottomless coffee at Blackhole (If you’re going, try a pretzel. The best). I was single then, and this afternoon, loading the dryer of a past life, I remembered a past self. When the memories of Carefree-single-Bre crept back up, there was a familiar happiness that resonated within me. For some reason, the dryer, stenciled in permanent marker, gave me the sweetest nostalgia.It was as if that one dryer, held all the sweetest memories I could muster for my long lost single-dom. I stood awestruck by the memory of it.
Naturally, like the over-sharing dork I am, I had been unknowingly sharing my internal musings, with my always-listening-and-engaging-perfect-specimen of a boyfriend. Who quickly reminded to appreciate all the care, love, and support I am showered with daily….blah blah blah.
Just to be clear, no-one is saying that relationships aren’t awesome. In fact, when you are really in love, relationships are the best. However, even the happiest, most in love couples have something they enjoyed about being single. After only enjoying one hour, before the perpetual, “I’m bored,” came stumbling out of his mouth, I had two—bottomless coffee, and no-one rushing me to leave.
As the day went on,I thought about it some more. Why do couples act as if life never existed before becoming a ‘We’? I existed, and to be honest, I don’t think single life gets the credit it deserves. Sure, I am happy with my boyfriend, more than happy even, but that doesn’t mean I was miserable before him. So here is to you singles, instead of treading thru wedding season being reminded all about life as a couple, and why its amazing, and beautiful, and exactly what your life is missing…I compiled a list of the top 5 best things singles get to do that couples don’t…
When you have a spouse, caring is pretty much required. Care about their day, their job, their family. Care, care, and more care! Single life is soo much different, you don’t have to care about anything! You can bail on a date, forget a birthday, never call back, disappear without explanation, and although none of these behaviors will get you married, when you have a boyfriend its just not an option. Being in a relationship isn’t like that,when you have a good spouse your problems become our problems, and vice versa. Honestly, It’s really great, and one of the many things I admire about my love. However, and this is important so really listen, I WOULD NOT DO THAT FOR ANYONE I DID NOT REALLY, REALLY LOVE. Trust me!
When your single, and the boo of the week has a tough day, he ain’t calling you (better not). He having car troubles? Sound like his troubles. Lost his job? Lost my number. Dog died? Hell, like you even remember what the dog looks like. Dating is all about good vibes, and Netflix and chill, and thats awesome.Saving your emotions from the love rollercoaster has its perks.
Sooo, as a couple, we still go on dates, but, and I am sorry to admit this, they are not the same as when we first met. I no longer get butterflies, or obsess over my outfit, I also don’t feel the need to dish the dirty details to my friends the next day. But three years ago, when we first met every date was obsessively overthought, and perfectly articulated. I would dedicate hours to picking just the right outfit, getting a new lipstick, and a special wax down low..just in case. Whether meeting for a movie or a weekend, I managed to muster up the same excitement I did at 16 when I made the cheerleading team.
3.Freedom to dress slutty
When my boyfriend doesn’t like an outfit, he isn’t afraid to let you know. On more than one occasion, I have found a pair of shorts in the trash bin. This, combined with Bronx’s habit of eating the seat out of all my favorite clothes, keeps my wardrobe quite limited. However, before I had any special men in my life, human or canine, my sense of fashion had reached unknown heights. Shorts were short, skirts were tight, and shirts were most definitely cropped, my favorite stores were Forever 21, Agaci, and Arden B. …..
In retrospect, maybe conformity of wardrobe is a pro to being in a committed relationship. For me at least..
4. A tidy home
Im no neat freak, but I do have a particular organization to my chaos. It’s either that, or i just don’t bitch at my mess, as much as I do about others. What I do know is: I Hate cleaning for both of us! Cleaning sucks, dishes suck, and no matter how much anyone else does, you will always feel like your doing most of the work. Buttt when your single, there are never any dishes in the sink, very little laundry, and no-one fussing at you because you forgot to buy toilet paper. Enjoy it!
5. Casual Sex
I don’t know if my current binge-watch of SITC has gotten into my head or not, but I can’t fault my BF too much. There was a luxury to banging any hot guy you pleased. No messy stuff like bills and dishes, making your relationship all fuzzy. Nope, you my friend are privy to drunken hot sex with stockbrokers who whisk you off to St. Barts, sure he can’t say he loves you, but Girl—#issavacation, just go!
I won’t lie , this list was a hard one to make, partially because I have been dating the same man for 3 years. Partially, because when I was single I drank a lot, and most of that life is a blur, and partially because for every one point I had for being single, I had 3 for being in love… but that’s just it ..I am in love. Relationships are hard work, so if you don’t love him, I mean realllllly, reallllllllllly love him, don’t waste your time.
So Jaybirds, now Im asking you…What are the best things about being single? And if you are happily taken like me, what is one thing you enjoyed most when you were single?